Friends, I have shared my recent 'road block/speed bump' with only a few because it has really kind of thrown me for a loop. But, I ask you now to pray for me in this situation...
Before I had the braces put back on, June I think, I saw a Periodontist to make sure my gums were healthy enough to proceed. They are. However, he noticed a spot on the underside of my tongue. He wanted to watch it, and if it was still there the next time, he wanted to do a biopsy. It was still there, but since they do not file on medical insurance, for some strange reason, I had to pay a very large sum of money up front. I chose not to have it done, but would tell the Orthodontist and my Dentist to look at it. It was a white 'milky' looking thing with red in it too; kind of like an ulcer. I went to WebMD and found pictures that look just like my 'spot'! I know, going to WebMD is not always a good idea, but I needed some facts. :)
I saw the Dentist last week, and she and the Hygeinist both made it very clear (with my cancer history, or not) you should NOT WAIT to have it checked. Oral cancers are fierce, and they move quickly. Thankfully, I was able to get in today to have the biopsy. The Periodontist had some anexiety about it (you know, they act differently when they think something might be serious. My thyroid doctor was the same way.) This procedure (and I have had MANY different kinds of procedures done! :) This was the strangest I have EVER experienced! Nurse was on one side of me, grasping my tongue and pulling it toward her; Doc was on the other, first giving shots. Ouch! Then, I he did the biopsy and put in 4 stitches--Ouch, again. He says that we should have results by the two week point, which is when I go back to see him and get the stitches out.
My question for him, "If this does turn out to be cancerous, what do we do then?" His answer, "I will send you to a really great oral surgeon that I use." The little bit of research that I have done on this points to radiation and/or chemotherapy as treatments. If cancerous, it was caused by the radiation I had 22 years ago to cure me of Hodgkin's Disease (Just like the thyroid that had precancerous cells). I am maxed out on both radiation and chemotherapy. I am not 'going there' to think past the results. Too scarey. :(
So, please pray specifically that if it is God's will, there will be NO CANCER. I do realize that God has used me through my medical trials, to minister to others. But SURELY, that is enough? LOL I know, I totally get it, but darn it, I do not like living my life wondering about what the next 'thing' will be. I really try not to think that way; it is just when something suspicious comes up!
This is especially hard right now, because I am at a point in my life that I am training for a career! I feel that God has placed me where I am now, blessed me with not only Grad school admission, but a GA position to help pay for it! I am feeling selfish right now, because I really want to proceed with my education, NOT battle cancer again.
These are my thoughts, and once again, I wait for results. Glad I will be very busy over the next few weeks to keep my mind off it. However, my tongue pain is a stark reminder of what has been done.
Thank you, sending hugs out to all of you who have supported me so much through all my 'stuff!' God is in control, I just need to remember that my fears are covered. I am open and honest about them, in order for others to see that this is real life. That one can be full of joy & thanksgiving, and full of anxiety at the same time. That is very tiring, so I am working really hard to give it all to Him.
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”