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Monday, August 29, 2011

I Really Hope It Is Nothing, but...


Friends, I have shared my recent 'road block/speed bump' with only a few because it has really kind of thrown me for a loop. But, I ask you now to pray for me in this situation...
Before I had the braces put back on, June I think, I saw a Periodontist to make sure my gums were healthy enough to proceed. They are. However, he noticed a spot on the underside of my tongue. He wanted to watch it, and if it was still there the next time, he wanted to do a biopsy. It was still there, but since they do not file on medical insurance, for some strange reason, I had to pay a very large sum of money up front. I chose not to have it done, but would tell the Orthodontist and my Dentist to look at it. It was a white 'milky' looking thing with red in it too; kind of like an ulcer. I went to WebMD and found pictures that look just like my 'spot'! I know, going to WebMD is not always a good idea, but I needed some facts. :)

I saw the Dentist last week, and she and the Hygeinist both made it very clear (with my cancer history, or not) you should NOT WAIT to have it checked. Oral cancers are fierce, and they move quickly. Thankfully, I was able to get in today to have the biopsy. The Periodontist had some anexiety about it (you know, they act differently when they think something might be serious. My thyroid doctor was the same way.) This procedure (and I have had MANY different kinds of procedures done! :) This was the strangest I have EVER experienced! Nurse was on one side of me, grasping my tongue and pulling it toward her; Doc was on the other, first giving shots. Ouch! Then, I he did the biopsy and put in 4 stitches--Ouch, again. He says that we should have results by the two week point, which is when I go back to see him and get the stitches out.

My question for him, "If this does turn out to be cancerous, what do we do then?" His answer, "I will send you to a really great oral surgeon that I use." The little bit of research that I have done on this points to radiation and/or chemotherapy as treatments. If cancerous, it was caused by the radiation I had 22 years ago to cure me of Hodgkin's Disease (Just like the thyroid that had precancerous cells). I am maxed out on both radiation and chemotherapy. I am not 'going there' to think past the results. Too scarey. :(

So, please pray specifically that if it is God's will, there will be NO CANCER. I do realize that God has used me through my medical trials, to minister to others. But SURELY, that is enough? LOL I know, I totally get it, but darn it, I do not like living my life wondering about what the next 'thing' will be. I really try not to think that way; it is just when something suspicious comes up!

This is especially hard right now, because I am at a point in my life that I am training for a career! I feel that God has placed me where I am now, blessed me with not only Grad school admission, but a GA position to help pay for it! I am feeling selfish right now, because I really want to proceed with my education, NOT battle cancer again.

These are my thoughts, and once again, I wait for results. Glad I will be very busy over the next few weeks to keep my mind off it. However, my tongue pain is a stark reminder of what has been done.

Thank you, sending hugs out to all of you who have supported me so much through all my 'stuff!' God is in control, I just need to remember that my fears are covered. I am open and honest about them, in order for others to see that this is real life. That one can be full of joy & thanksgiving, and full of anxiety at the same time. That is very tiring, so I am working really hard to give it all to Him.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

7 comments:

  1. knew about the thyroid...didn't know about the tongue! I can't believe you have to wait two weeks!!!!!!!!! Never had stitches in for 2 weeks, either. You know I'm praying so very, very hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Psalms 61:1-4 Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

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  2. Michelle, so sorry you are facing this again....but we are praying this is just an ulcer and will heal quickly. Thanks for keeping your blog spot going.

    Bettie

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  3. You're in my prayers!
    Psalms 130:1-2 Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD. Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

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  4. The Lord is with you right now, lifting you up, giving you strength! Always praying!
    Isaiah 40:28-31 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

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  5. This JUST came in my inbox. I hope you hear soon and that the results are good.
    Annemarie

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  6. Always a comfort being reminded that the Holy Spirit Himself is praying for you!
    Romans 8:26-27 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

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  7. Sweetie, You are in my prayers. I'm so glad you have proactive doctors!

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