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Monday, January 21, 2013

This represents me and how I feel this year.

In some ways, I feel like that little plant bursting through the ground, pushing up to reach my full potential. There are scars on my leaves, from lessons I have learned. They remind me that I have been tested, and succeeded! More importantly, I am standing tall and growing...There have been many difficult times in the last few years; many changes to try to understand and embrace. I have struggled and felt defeat. However, my Savior reminds me that He is my strength, and I can rely on Him to help me through. 

When I thought about this first post of 2013, I wanted to try to convey what transformation has occurred in me the last several months. As I continue to study for my Master's in Community Counseling, I have also started personal counseling. I have  known for over a year that I needed to do it, but I kept putting it off. When I was finally tired of breaking down in class, or being triggered by things I didn't understand, I took that first step to sign up. I have issues, things I thought I had resolved, that need attention. I must say that it has been one of the greatest  parts of my personal growth! It is hard, and at times, I really hate it; but, I also realize that I will be able to empathize with future clients about sharing their 'stuff' with a total stranger! Thankfully, it is the right stranger; someone that is trained to help me and get me past the 'counselor student' answers. 

Part of the process for me, is to write again. I used to journal a lot. Right now, the things I am writing are very personal and private. It is an outlet that I can use anytime I am trying to figure things out; or, to deal with raw emotions and memories. I guess the ultimate healing will be when I can share some of it with the world. 

What I can share with you, my blog world, is how taking control of your own power as a person will lift you up. At 40-something years old, I can finally say that I will not just 'wish' certain things were different. I am making conscious choices to make it happen! That is powerful! So get ready, 2013 is MY year, and I am excited beyond words! Happy New Year!

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