Let Freedom Ring!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, AMERICA!

I am so thankful to live in this country. We may have our flaws, but this country is still the best place to live on earth!

Life After Cancer

(Warning: Sensitive information regarding breast cancer, mastectomy, and undergarments are the basis of this entry. It is not graphic, but some may prefer not to read it.)

I just passed my 3rd 'anniversary' of having breast cancer & bilateral mastectomy. For many reasons, I chose not to endure re-constructive surgery.

I do not think of myself as less feminine without them, but I do wear prosthetic forms to look and feel more 'normal'. It is time to replace my prosthetics and find a few new undergarments that work better than what I have.

At first, I wore a post-mastectomy bra with pockets to hold the forms. When I replaced them, I was not about to pay what they were asking for those type of bras, so I bought 'regular' bras and wear a cotton sports bra over it to keep everything in place. The most comfortable tops for me are tank tops, with

a button up shirt/camp shirt over. Let's count how many layers that is: 1,2,3,4! That's right, 4 layers! Needless to say, it is way too hot and humid to wear four layers most of the time around here! At home, I wear tank tops alone to stay cool. I admit that I throw a shirt over it if anyone comes over.

Today, I decided to look for some tank tops/camisoles that have the pocketed bras already in them. I figure it will lessen my layers by two. Here is a picture of one I found:

Looks like a tank top, with a little higher neckline, so the scars don't show. Guess how much they charge for this?....Drum roll please....$120.00! That is the highest I have seen. The others range in the $60-$65 range. I guess they think that half price is better?

These companies should be ashamed of themselves! Not only do we have to endure the cancer, the surgery, the meds, and feeling different; now, they expect us to pay way too much for an undergarment that doesn't even have sleeves.

Now, I realize that I could buy a regular tank top and have pockets sewn into them, but why should I have to do that? Why can't I just buy a tank top with pockets already sewn in, for just a little more than what a 'regular' one would cost? This just makes no sense to me.

Ok, done ranting. I will continue to search for something that will address my needs, but won't cost as much as it does to run my car for over 6 weeks! (Not kidding!)

Hi, Friends!

This message is for all of you that live in other countries, and visit my blog. Welcome! It would be great if some of you would sign my guest book, so I can get to know you.

Interesting that this came up, because I have been thinking about all of the new friends I made at school this year. I am especially happy that I met so many International students! Taiwan, Gambia, Nepal, Saudi Arabia, Columbia, India...to name a few of the countries they represent. They show great patience with me, because I am terrible at names. In fact, I had been calling one of the ladies I met by the name Kathrine. When I went to introduce her to others, she said, "My name is Teresa." She will always be Kathrine to me! However, I did add her into my phone as Teresa-Kathrine. And poor Justin, I called him Kevin for the longest time. Ha ha!

It is also very interesting where I met all of the friends I made this year--in the cafeteria! The beginning of each semester was very busy in the cafe, so there were many times that I had to ask to sit with someone that I did not know. From that, a large group of us became 'lunch buddies' who would sit together every time we ate. It is amazing how much we shared with each other over a meal. I am going to miss our time together as we leave for summer. And by next year, I won't even see most of them...

So, thank you to my 'lunch buddies' who were always happy to see me, who shared their life with me, and who accepted me even though I was old enough to be a mother to most of them. We were all equals. Friends. Yes, I will miss them.

A Moment of Your TIME

Update TIME!

What a busy TIME of year! I think I described October as 'crazy busy'; the same could be said of November so far.

Tutoring TIME finally started a few weeks ago. So far, I have tutored Anatomy, Sociology, MIS (computing class), and a few others. My schedule filled up this week with appointments, which gave me a bit of stress, but it worked out fine.

The end of the semester is coming to an end quickly! I still have to find TIME to finish papers and projects. I am thankful for the next several days; I plan to finish most of them before heading back to school on Monday.

I think I mentioned that I have decided to pursue a Master's in Rehabilitation Counseling, beginning next fall. The director of the online program at the University of North Texas talked to me about having a place to get experience with clients that have differing disabilities. This afternoon, I had TIME to visit the hospital, and started my inquiries. The Behavioral Health department may be an option. I have not visited with the Cardiac Rehab yet. There is also a rehab about 30 minutes away that said they take students all of the time--I talked with them at the Wellness Fair at school last week. So, we shall see.

Now it is TIME for the holidays! I can hardly believe it! My wish for all of you is to be blessed this Thanksgiving, and into the Christmas season.

Pet Peeve

I am just so amazed at the ignorance some people are willing to show others because they have a loud, strong opinion! A situation happened in class today, as one lady made a statement about her belief in something, although it is a known fact that the topic is true. It was all I could do not to jump in her conversation and ask her if she was serious!

Wow....just....wow!

Who Signed Me Up For This?!

Baby kitty rescued by Ricky Friday night near the interstate. She is a keeper; a sweet little 5-6 week old calico, 1.2 lbs, gorgeous markings. Slowly trying to integrate her into Pepper's life, LOL. I feel like I did when K was little--she is full of energy. We crashed together earlier today and I finally had to put her in her box so I could take a shower!

God's little miracles are such blessings! She melted Ricky's heart and has captured all of ours--except Pepper.

Yes, who signed me up for this? Hmmmm....pictures as soon as I can get some!

Time For Change

When I think of this past month, I start to add up all the changes that have happened in that short amount of time. Changes in weather, changes in friendships, changes in plans, change in time. Many people say that they hate change, or that they won't change. Others simply accept change, and move forward.

Personally, when rapid changes happen, I usually see God working, and think that He must be 'smacking me upside the head' trying to get my attention! Many times, things fall quickly in to place and it is obvious that God was working. At other times, especially when I resist change, it is confusing and I wonder why it has to happen.

A very significant change I experienced this past month has to do with my college experience. I found out that my US Government class taken so long ago, will NOT be accepted for my Associate degree, despite my pleas and prayers. I was pretty disappointed, mainly because I really thought I would graduate in May! The good news I received was that they will allow me to 'walk' at graduation in May, and be considered a Summer graduate when I complete the US Government class this summer. I can not tell you how much this means to me. I can finally close the chapter of my life that began right after graduating high school, and has stopped and started more than I care to think. Last January, I began college again after a 16 year absence; this January, I started my last semester before graduating with my Associate of Arts degree!

As I put that behind me, I look forward to completing my Bachelor of Science degree. I had always planned to finish it at TWU since I spent so much time there before. However, they were not very helpful when I asked questions, so I let that plan go. ('Kicked them to the curb,' is what I actually said!) I started looking for programs online and ended up finding my answer. I will work for a Bachelor of Science in Liberal Studies, with an emphasis in Psychology, and secondary emphasis in either Sociology or Education.

As I began to see the reality that this could mean, I also realized that I need to register as a full time student, with 12 hours. All of the major scholarships and grants require it, plus I may also qualify for work study. Although it will be a real challenge to take a full load, it also means that I will achieve that degree faster. In fact, it may be possible that I could graduate NEXT May with my Bachelor's degree! That is amazing to me, given the length of time it has taken me to get this far.

Ultimately, the goal is to get through grad school as soon as possible, so I can begin teaching in Jr. college. My career will not be long compared to many, but I hope it will have an impact on students, and be something I enjoy.

Another significant change has happened in the last month...one that makes me face getting older. *sigh* When classes started in January, it became very obvious that I needed new glasses. After the second set of lenses that did not help, I decided to try contacts and reading glasses. I wore contacts for over 20 years, up until just a few years ago. Whoo hoo, glad to have them back! However, having reading glasses makes me feel a bit old. And, I just discovered the downside of seeing well--you can see every single gray hair! Change...this is a little hard for me.

Change is a fact of life. Trying to accept it and move forward is one of the keys to life!

Welcome to the year 2010!

I am so excited to see what God has planned for us in this new year. It is time to put 2009's triumphs and trials behind us. It was a good year in many ways, but was also very difficult. I think the most significant times that I will remember about last year are:

1. Starting back to college after 16 years

2. Keegan's growth and maturity--band leadership, passing his dad in height, and learning to drive...'glimpses of maturity' as I call them!

3. The fantastic marching season that our kids had

4. A very real attempt to live with JOY

5. Getting to see my brother and sister-in-law

As I watch Keegan grow and mature, it becomes very clear that I need future plans for myself. He will go off soon enough, to his own life and his own career goals. Since he was born, I have always tried to live just one day at a time. I try very hard not to look to the distant future with him, because I want to enjoy every single milestone we pass, and every single bit of his teenage attitude! (Yes, I question myself about the attitude nearly every day!)

This new year is more than just who I am as a wife, mother and student; it is about being a better person. I want to be more Christ-like in my actions and attitudes. I want to extend myself to others more. I want to be more organized in my home and all the activities I choose to participate. This is the year I will strive each day to enjoy where I am in my life, and work to achieve happiness despite the circumstances.

Think about your chance this year. What will you do to improve yourself and your life? Will you allow yourself to enjoy life without getting bogged down in the everyday 'nitty-gritty' of living? It is a fresh start for all of us--lets make it the best year yet!

Psalm 31:14-15 (New King James Version)

¹⁴ But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
¹⁵ My times are in Your hand;
Deliver me from the hand of my enemies,
And from those who persecute me

Academically speaking...

I still need to decide what I am going to do when I grow up! The original plan of course, was Occupational Therapy. Because I have so much education in science & psychology, I would like to do something in the medical/health care field. Similarly, since I have so much experience in being a patient of the medical system, I am interested in some sort of patient advocacy as well. Maybe I should teach--sharing knowledge with others seems very natural to me. I have also seriously considered library science.

The first step was to see if I could manage college work at this point in my life. I literally cried the first day of class, because it was a dream I thought had died long ago. I could see God's hand in every step that prepared me for that day, and it was an overwhelming blessing! I proved to myself in the spring that not only can I manage college work, but I thrive in that environment just as I did before. I took my first Spanish class because I wanted to learn Spanish. I am taking the second part because I want to understand the language better. Now, I contemplate taking the second year to become more fluent. What good is that? Well, I might be able to do some tutoring if I become knowledgeable enough. Plus, any knowledge of another language--especially Spanish, here in Texas, is a great plus to have on a resume.

So, I start to think about what I might study to finish that elusive bachelor's degree. Since I am required to take a computer literacy course, (ahem...they did not require that way back when I was still in college!) I started thinking about what an asset it would be to have formal computer training when seeking a job. Put the two together, bi-lingual and computer knowledge, sounds like a great option right now.

As I creep along with my college education, I am trying to be open to what God's plan is for me. All along, I believe I was doing what I was supposed to do. The first two years I spent in college away from home were building blocks to who I am today, both academically and personally. My time in OT school equipped me with valuable knowledge and skill to face life's challenges. The 16 years I stayed home to raise my son gave me experiences I will never be able to duplicate, and an appreciation for volunteering my time to help others.

Now, as my son fills his own schedule with activities, I am able to work on my longing for a higher education. Several of my friends are doing the same, whether returning to school, or starting for the first time. We have become what some young college students despise: the non-traditional student who does their assignments, asks questions in class, does well on exams and projects, and understand the importance of attending class regularly. We know the value of an education, both monetarily and personally.

As great as that sounds, I was ready to give up on myself earlier this semester. I felt so lost and started doubting my ability to learn a new language. I started questioning why I was even trying to reach that lofty goal of a bachelor's, and possible master's degree.

Recently, I was inducted to Phi Theta Kappa, which is an international honor society for two year colleges.

I was also invited into the Who's Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges. These two honors reminded me that I worked very hard to achieve where I am at academically. That gives me more confidence as I prepare for more college courses and search for potential career choices.

Where do I go from here? I plan to take Spanish again in the spring, and possibly take that computer class in the summer. After that, I have no idea! I do know that I want to finish my bachelor's degree online as quickly as possible, so I can move on to a master's in something I really want to do....what ever that happens to be at that time!

Beginnings, endings...and the times in between

I am sure you have heard the story of 'The Dash'. It is the time between your birth date and your death date, the little dash that is put in between the numbers. It represents all of your life on earth. Everything.

The question of course, is if you can fill your dash and live your life to the fullest? Do those not so exciting, routine days blend with the over the top, outstanding days and milestones that happen in life?

This past month has been a combination of very routine days, with some outstanding, memorable days! The focus was on our high school marching band. They did something that the band has not done in eight years! They achieved a First Division rating and progressed to the Area competition. Area is much harder in competition, but our band still did an awesome job! It was a joy to be with them as they progressed through competitions. Their confidence grew, and they improved through each step.


I was fortunate to be able to accompany them on the buses to and from the destinations. The students are so well behaved! Their work ethic and discipline really did carry over into their time off of the field. I tell everyone that I am so impressed with these teenagers--they make me very proud! Good things are in store for this awesome group of kids...it is going to be such a blessing to watch it unfold!



It was a month of physical challenge for me though. Being 'folded up on a school bus' and sitting on hard bleachers really took its toll on this ragged body! Plus, we attended every Friday night game, and the Pep Rallies for each home game. Friday was the last game of the season. As much as I enjoyed it, I was very happy that it was the end. Our football team had a terrific year with a 6-4 record.

I also saw a podiatrist for the first time. I have a bunion, and a condition where my big toe does not flex when I walk. The Dr. said, "I hate to tell you this on your first visit, but the only thing that will cure this is surgery." My doctor referred me to him because he is NOT a surgery happy type of doctor! I skipped the follow up, and spent my money on some Dr. Scholl's inserts (the ones from the machine that measures how and where you carry pressure in your feet.) I also bought some quality shoes, and that has helped a lot. I will go as long as I can without surgery...I do NOT need any more surgery!

Another milestone in October was when Keegan got his driver's permit. Wow, a teenage driver in our household! He does very well, but bless his heart, he has to fold himself up to drive in my Camry. He fits much better in Ricky's big truck.



He can hardly wait to drive his own pick up truck when he gets his license in the Spring! Not my style, but he loves it!


Ahhh, we even changed from Daylight Savings time in October! An extra hour of sleep--we took all 60 minutes of it!
As the month came to a close, I realized that it had been two years since my breast cancer diagnosis! Already? Time is just flying by so quickly. Wow. Praise the Lord, I am here, and although exhausted, I am living life and enjoying my days! You might say, I am filling in my 'Dash.'

Short note

Just plain worn out! First Saturday off in a long time, and I am trying to catch up on things---going very slowly!

One day, hopefully this week, I can catch up. Just not today.

Praying that YOU have a great weekend. Take time to be with those you love, and if you have beautiful fall weather like we do today, go out and just take in all that God has given us!

Blessings!

Update

Life is crazy busy.

Our Band made a Superior, Division 1 at contest on Tuesday. It was the first time in 8 years! We compete in Area on Saturday.

I wrote a story in Spanish for the first time last week. It was difficult, but fun. There were mistakes, of course, but I felt good about it.

I will get another massage next week--after being on the bus again with the kids, I will need it!

The new shoes and inserts seem to be doing well. I wore them all day at contest on Tuesday, where we did a lot of walking, and my foot didn't hurt too much. Hopefully, I have found a solution for now.

My mantra for today is: I am a child of God; I am not the runt of the litter! Somebody must know what I mean by that!

Until next time, be blessed and choose JOY!

Driver's Education, or Parental Testing? Part 2

In case any of you were concerned that my student driver would not have to take the good 'ol driving test to get his license, you were not alone. The state has passed new laws, including more driving behind the wheel instruction AND reinstating the driving test, along with the written test. "We" all had to do it, so it really is no big deal. LOL

Driver's Education, or Parental Testing?

We have started parental taught Driver's Ed. in our house!

Three observations:

1. If you are to teach someone about driving, you better obey all of the rules, all of the time!
2. This is why we don't home school!
3. You finally have leverage against them!

Three examples:

1. While talking about yielding, signaling, or stopping, etc., you might just hear, "Like YOU don't do!" Or, "Dad never does that!" Oops!

2. During the teenage years, we encourage our children to look at things from all sides, and to ask questions. I believe this is a mistake we can not take back! You might hear, "Yes, but if we do (this, this, and this)...we would not even have to worry about (that!)" *sigh*

3. Getting a driver's license is very different than when we got ours. You took Driver's Ed., and you took a driving test with a DMV officer. Now, parents can teach the Driver's Ed., and the student does not have to take the driving test if the parents sign for them! They must have a driver's permit for six months before they are eligible for a license. I guess in that time, it is assumed that they will get a lot of practice, and that parents will make sure they can drive! I told my son that he will have to pass his Dad's test! Now that I think about it, maybe the threat of a driver's test with an officer (who writes on his clip board every time you make a mistake!) might be a very good incentive to not mouth off, not debate every single thing in the book, and not act as though parents are crazy and don't know a single thing! Hmmm....

Yes, leverage is a very good thing. And then there is the truck he has shown to his friends and wants to drive....

(Click on any picture to see a larger view)

Yes, I believe we will pass this test...I mean, he will pass the test!

Growth

After the morning parade and lunch with family, Ricky, Keegan & J.B. were out looking at a house in the neighborhood. When I saw them, it struck me how much Keegan has grown!


Not only has he grown to nearly as tall as his dad, he is maturing into a really great young man! It is a bittersweet time for a mom. Entering high school was a huge transition for us. Now, he is a sophomore and I find myself thinking, "We still have three more years to enjoy."

As I see young children, or think about some things we used to do, I have little flash backs. I see him crawling into our bed on a Sunday afternoon with his 'rags & blankie', laughing as we all tried to rest together! I see him pulling his 'little red wagon' around the yard, collecting rocks and sticks for some reason or other. I am so thankful for those times, and those memories!

Oh, what a difference!

The reality of how stressful last week was really hit me today. Loosing two friends and seeing that others had died as well, is stressful. Plus, the heat was just dragging me down. I kept my promise to choose joy today. It felt good not to be the complainer that I was last week!

Our time with the Boys & Girls Club kids today was great! They were cooperative and interested; plus, they all behaved very well. When I got home, I was tired, but not drained. Oh, what a difference!

No place like home...

My boy is HOME from band leadership camp! Whoo hoo! When I came in from work just after 4:00 pm on Thursday, he was fast asleep on his bed. He was very busy last week; he has slept well for several days!

Home...where is that for you? Is it the house/apartment/dorm/structure where you reside? Is it the town or city you are in now; or the one that you grew up in? Many of you have lived several places, where do you consider your 'home'?

While working at the library, I have told many people that it feels like 'home'. So, what does that mean? For me, it means the place where I feel comfortable being myself. I don't mind being there, I enjoy it.

The physical structure I live in is also my 'home.' I feel very grateful that Ricky had built our house a few years before we even met. It is neat that we are the only ones who have lived here. I have never had that before; in fact, I have never lived in one place for this many years!

The first house I remember was in Tacoma, WA. I think I was about 3 years old when we moved into it, and lived there until I went in to 5th grade. It was a HUGE house that sat up above the street. I can remember all the rooms and many of the details of that house. Not all of the memories are good ones, but most are of carefree days playing, riding my tricycle, or walking to my school. Recently, I found the house using Google street view. A few minor changes have been made to the outside of the house, but basically, it is how I remember it. That was 'home' number one....

The end is the beginning!

Graduation time is here! We have a few friends graduating from high school this year. I am certain that the parents are a bit emotional about the 'end' of their child's high school education. However, I am just as certain that the graduates feel that their life is just beginning! The freedom...the fun...it all starts new for them! Congratulations to our graduating friends--Life awaits you!

Not a graduate, but K is almost classified as a Sophomore! This has been a challenging year in so many ways, but he has grown and matured, and even had some fun. I'm am proud of our boy! OH, I mean, young man!!!

I started my new job at the library on Monday! I L-O-V-E it! I feel right at home, and have had a good few days so far. I feel blessed.

Just a short note to let you know what is going on; no words of wisdom, or profound stories this time. I wish you all new beginnings as we go into this summer season!

Galatians 4:10 (New American Standard Bible)

¹⁰You ^A)">(A)observe days and months and seasons and years.

Reflections...

I was blown away tonight by our ULTRA talented teenagers at the high school! The band was playing with emotion, the Jazz band ROCKED, and all the dancers were enthusiastic and smiling! I can't wait for our families to see the Floor Show! (See "Time to reset the clock" post to read what it is about)

As I looked around, I thought back to the Kindergarten days, where we watched many of these kids "graduate" as small, yet so grown up, children crossing the stage. Their theme song was, "You'll Be In My Heart" from the Lion King. They all sang along as we watched their sweet faces on a slide show...we had dreams and high hopes for our kids. Now, they are achieving beyond belief!

I am savoring the moments, and so thankful I am here and well enough to be a part of them! This time in our lives is bittersweet. Our children are growing and maturing into young adults that will lead our country into the future. It happens so fast, yet it is a lifetime already! Since K was young, I have tried very hard to not look too far into the future! I have concentrated on the present, with all that it entails-- happy times, and frustrating too. (This is getting a bit 'deep', so I will stop now. I will save all that for another post at another time.)

A prayer request for a very troubled young man in our town: He tried to take his life last night by shooting himself in the head. The bullet missed his brain, but he has extensive facial injuries. His mom graduated high school with me, and I can't even imagine what she is feeling right now. His name is Tyler; please pray for him to get the help he will need to recover from this tragedy. Please pray for his family to hold strong to each other, and that they know the Lord, who can comfort them with a peace that can surpass all understanding.

Time To Reset The Clock

So what does it mean to 'reset your clock'? According to my doctor, that is what I have to do for myself. Over the weekend, I slept 16 hours straight from Saturday to Sunday. Then, with the help of a sleeping pill, I slept another 8 hours Sunday night. The result Monday morning? I still felt worn out and yucky! Just by coincidence, I was to see my doctor Monday. I have had several little 'issues' arise since I saw her in January.

We discussed several things, but the most important for now is to 'reset my internal clock.' To do that, I am to take a sleeping pill every night for the next three weeks! We shall see how that works. Then, I am to try to wean off them to see if I am 'reset' or not. LOL

The next three weeks are FULL of activities, so I am sure I will be glad when it is bed time anyway! In case you don't hear from me for a bit, this is what I'm doing: having my brother & sister-in-law over tonight for dinner; taking my Spanish final (!) on Thursday; working on decorating for Floor Show; setting up for Floor Show; practicing for Floor Show every night next week, and then Floor Show next weekend!

Floor Show is a 70+ year tradition at our high school. It combines the band and the flashes (the drill team) doing all sorts of songs & dances. When I was in it, many moons ago, the band played all of the songs for the dances. Now, they play a few, and the flashes dance to recorded music. I really like that because the band can concentrate on their own music more. The new band and flash members and officers are 'presented' to the audience during a fancy presentation ceremony. Keegan will be presented for new band member and leadership team for next year. There will be many photo ops, so look for them in the weeks ahead.

After FS, all of the end of the year activities will take place, and the school year will wrap up quickly. Of course, that means we will head into a busy summer, but that is ok! Keegan has a few extra band camps to attend for the leadership team, plus the band camps for the high school. I am not taking any formal classes this summer, but I am going to continue online practice for my Spanish class. I am also considering whether or not I should read a very in depth book and write an essay about it for a scholarship. I don't know if my brain can handle it or not. So, we'll see.

Other news: Ricky got the card about his next diamond for his award ring...yes, the one that was stolen in January! I told him he should see if they will just send him the diamond. He earned it, he should get it!

The baby kitties were out walking with their momma yesterday. They are so cute, I could watch them for hours!

My friend that works for a metroplex school district has an unexpected week off due to the 'swine flu'. Her school has not been directly affected, but either way, she gets a paid holiday and doesn't have to make it up at the end of the year! Enjoy it, my friend!!!

Little LM has been having more visits with his bio-mom. She seems to be taking the steps necessary to get custody of him in the future. Keep praying that she does everything she is supposed to, and that LM will have a safe and loving home to go to when she is able to care for him full time. Also remember P. in your prayers; she is letting go a little at a time, but it is still very difficult. (See 'When loving someone breaks your heart' post for more details)

In case you heard about the flooding, tornado warnings and heavy winds, we are ok. We did have a tornado warning Saturday afternoon, but it ended up going more south of us (actually closer to where Ricky was working Saturday!) Minor flooding here in our town and a few trees & limbs down. A city close by had damage, including some very large trees that fell onto houses! Ah, spring time in Texas...

Thought for today:

Genesis 9:12-14 (New King James Version)

¹² And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: ¹³ I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. ¹⁴ It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud;...